7 things I wish I knew before starting my self-growth journey

Self-growth has been a hyped topic all over the media for the last couple of years and it is so for a reason. Starting my self-growth journey and figuring out what I truly want out of life and who I want to be, has been the most rewarding process. That said, there have definitely been roadblocks, challenges, doubts and tears along the way, especially in the beginning

To make starting your self-growth journey just a little bit easier for you, I have collected 7 things I wish I knew before I started my self-growth journey in this post.

Have fun reading and please remember that you are a unique, stunning and important person, no matter what.

What you can find in this post about self-growth:

1. Everyone is just winging it

Probably the greatest myth I have been struggling with the first couple of months of my self-growth journey was that everyone else has had this whole thing figured out.

They knew what they were doing and I somehow didn´t really get it.

Now, 5 years (!) later I know that no matter how sophisticated, confident or convinced other people seem, no one has an actual clue what they are doing.

We are all out here just trying to find the best way for ourselves and adapting to an ever-changing life while trying to build a steady routine. It already sounds impossibly chaotic.

So while there are surely people out there who have grown themselves into incredible people and keep doing so, it doesn´t mean that under the surface, they are all-knowing about what personal growth is and “should” be.

2. There is no “one size fits all”

This somehow connects to the first point in the way that even people who know how to grow themselves into the person they want to be right now, doesn´t mean they know the self developement strategies that will work best for you.

Of course there is some research, a million self growth books and more podcasts than one can count giving guidance and advice, which is really helpful sometimes, but it is only that: Guidance and Advice, not a To-Do List or a full-fledged path to follow.

Self-growth is A LOT of trying and optimizing and trying again. Sometimes something works out amazingly, other times there are adjustments that need to be made or it doesn’t work at all.

And that is okay!

It might even be great because once you found a routine or strategy that works for you (at least in that moment) it is one of the best feelings ever!

3. There are no (expensive) tools needed

People are always trying to make money through you in this world. And while some things are really useful and make life a lot easier, there are really no expensive tools needed to start your self-growth journey (in my opinion).

When I started looking into personal growth more every Post I read or video I watched praised another tool that was kind of the same?!

I spent money on these things anyway because I wanted to do this journey “right”. And having the right tools seemed like a good start.

Looking back now, I didn´t need more than 90% of these tools.

Most of my self-developement work is done with a journal and a pen, on my laptop or phone with free apps and in therapy (which is luckily covered by my health insurance).

Right now, I am using only a few paid tools on top of that, spending less than 100€ a year and I am thriving in my daily self improvement as much as ever (if not more).

4. How much fun recreation can be

Starting out on my self-growth journey, I got really disappointed and discouraged every time a routine or habit didn’t work out for me or didn’t stick. I was annoyed by having to start over and try something new and I even put things on pause a few times.

Now, a few years later I really enjoy trying out different methods and things that might or might not work for me because every little thing is helping me to get to know myself better.

Through getting up at different time I found out that I am a 5-6 o’clock person when it comes to getting up. I am not enjoying working out hard early in the morning because it makes me incredibly tired, and I can eat porridge with blueberries every single morning but could never do that with bread.

Finding out what doesn’t work or what you don’t like is nearly just as amazing as figuring out what you do like and what does work.

You get closer to your true self and your “perfect” self-growth routine and lifestyle with every single thing you try in your routines, hobbies and habits!

So stay patient, keep going and have a little fun with it ;).

5. The impact it can have on relationships

Besides all the upsides that personal growth and gaining authenticity in your life definitely have, there are some struggles too, that I did not really see coming but that kept me from truly going after change a few times.

I am talking about the impact on your existing relationships.

We as humans don’t really like change, we are evolutionary and biologically wired to be creatures of habit (some more, some less). So, if you change it can actually be scary not just for you but for the people around you.

This doesn’t necessarily has to be a bad thing because those who truly love you will love you in all your ways and will support you in your growth even though it might be a bit uncomfortable for them as well.

It might still lead to some difficult situations. For me this has to do with getting up early a lot of the time. Becausee if I want to get up at 5 or 6 a.m., I need to be in bed by 9 or 10 p.m..

That and having a vibrant social life (which I love having!) is not always easy to combine livng in a society where most things happen past 7 or 8 p.m..

I am still figuring out how best to handle this but I am getting there, I think. And not having figured it out yet doesn’t mean (as always) that it’s horrible the way it is right now.

But the thing that I realized most in this process was that it became very clear to me who was a true friend and companion and who was benefitting from the version of myself I was before. A version where I did not set my boundaries so clearly or spoke my mind about difficult topics.

And even though I knew these people weren’t right for me if they only liked me because they could control me to some extend or I was “easy” to be around, it still hurt realizing that they were bad for me, and it still does sometimes.

But the impact self-growth can have on relationships is not always negative!

Being true to yourself and open about the life you want and the things you love will also enable you to find like-minded people a lot easier.

I have friends that like getting up early as well, some that enjoy football as much as I do and others that love singing as well. It is so amazing and liberating to share yourself truly with the world and others!

6. Therapy might help

Growing up in the early 2000s therapy was not really talked about. People going to therapy were “crazy”, “sick” or “broken”. It was something you would reach for only if there was absolutely no other way.

Now, having been to therapy a lot and having grown to absolutely loving it, I truly believe that every person on this planet would benefit from talking about their struggles and unconscious beliefs (and we all have some!).

Gladly, society has also come a long way in the last few years, talking about mental health and therapy in a more balanced and true way.

Therapy is not just something to reach for when your mental health is at a low, it can help figure out a lot of challenges and roadblocks in life and having a professional, outwards opinion can be incredibly helpful in changing your thinking and getting out of the mental “bubble” we all live in.

7. You are never “there”

I think this last point has become quite clear already through the other points I have made in this post, but it is an important one to keep in mind and to learn to love: You will never “get there”.

Life keeps changing, you will keep needing new routines and new habits to adapt and improve yourself and your life. And actually, I think that is amazing and beautiful!

It might be annoying if things keep changing and shifting every few months but it would probably also be annoying if nothing changed for a decade (or even five years).

Change can be fun, change can be liberating and change can be an incredibly opportunity to get even better!

There will also very surely be times were you will neglect your habits or routines because life gets in the way. There are emergencies, menstrual cycles (for some of us), exam phases, job changes, family situations and the list goes on and on and on…

While you will also need to adapt to these new situations as I already said (or wrote, I guess), you will also need to find the strength and motivation to get back on this journey and start “figuring things out” again.

It might be more difficult at some times than others and I have struggled with that more than once (!) but truly, I have never regretted getting back on this messy and wonderous journey to becoming my best and truest self!

This post has been all about the 7 things I wish I knew before starting my self-growth journey.

I hope this has been helpful and please remember: You deserve all the good things this world has to offer!

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